Here
is a story
that is for sale:
All
materials are copyright© 2005
by Michelle Weisblat-Dane. All rights reserved No portion may be
reproduced
either electronically, digitally, manually, in print, or by any other
means
without written permission.
Vincent
(1063)
By Michelle Dane
They say that the most talented people are those who are mad. Is it the talent that makes them mad? Is it their sensitivity that gives them their ability to be so talented that makes them mad? Is it all that and more coming together all at once that makes them so much more than the average person? Vincent van Gogh lived in that moment and in that torment. "As for me, I am rather often uneasy in my mind, because I think that my life has not been calm enough; all those bitter disappointments, adversities, changes keep me from developing fully and naturally in my artistic career," he wrote in a letter (Letter W11) on June 16, 1889. Was his painting his escape from that torment?
Today Van Gogh would likely be diagnosed as having a “bipolar personality disorder” (popularly called “manic-depressive”). People in the 1890’s did not understand what that meant. We now know that some of the most creative and sensitive people are bipolar; Vincent was a classic example. In his paintings and drawings he desperately tried to show us how he was feeling. During his manic phases he frantically painted for days and weeks on end, ignoring even the simplest of basic needs, such as food and hygiene. He spent every penny he had on paint supplies instead of food. Then there were his bouts of depression; many lasted for weeks and even hospitalized him.
His
own letters show
his instability. We know Van Gogh not
only from his paintings but from over 700 letters. These
letters are what
give us such an insight into his personality and feelings. He was so obsessed with his painting that
even when he was in love – he had had several relationships
in his life – they
would come second to his obsession.
His bipolar personality caused extreme chaos in his relationships. While he craved all the companionship, validation, and attention he could get, at the same time couldn’t handle them. Van Gogh had a hard time keeping friends. He could not hold down a job for long periods of time. Try as he did, he couldn’t stay in one place, especially indoors, for extended periods. He would express his constant need to be outside. The only person he was really close to was his brother. Even that relationship was strained to its limits when Vincent lived with him for two years.
Van
Gogh preferred
the quiet and calm of nature, as many of us do. By examining his
paintings you
can see this dichotomy between peacefulness and chaos that he wrote
about in
his letters. An example of this is displayed in his Park
at Asnieres in
Spring . This is what
would be
considered a peaceful place, yet you can see the background of chaos in
his
brush strokes. The grass is wild and the trees seem as if they are
blowing madly
in the wind. The colors, bright and chaotic, make the painting appear
as if he
were trying to find a place of peace in life that he couldn’t
find in his mind.
His most famous painting, Starry
Night,
is a prime example of what would be a peaceful scene, that is
looking at
the night sky of a peaceful sleeping city. Yet, it is anything but
peaceful. The
stars and clouds are in a swirl of movement; the tree is rustling in
the wind. Van
Gogh’s brush strokes appear that they have been painted in
almost a manic
frenzy.
In contrast, one can
see Van Gogh’s depressed moods in his many paintings of the
poor. In Wood
Gatherers in the
Snow his paint strokes are blended and flat. The
colors used are dull
and the whole painting evokes a sadness, a sorrow that he was feeling.
He pulls
at our heart as he tries to show the sadness of their plight.
Vincent’s despair
is clearly evident in Woman
Sewing, with a
Girl, his drawing of his girl
friend who would leave him shortly
after this was drawn. At times he was so depressed he
couldn’t come out of his
room. This deep, intense, depression eventually ended with him taking
his life.
In his short lifetime Vincent
van Gogh created over 800 paintings and over 1000 drawings. Yet, he
only sold
one painting. He desperately craved, and needed, the recognition that
he didn’t
get; the support, understanding, and adoration that he only got in
death. Van
Gogh died knowing he was an absolute, total, abject
failure –
friendless, loveless, hurting, and almost totally alone.
Would I have wanted to
live his life in exchange for his talent? Sometimes I wish I could;
maybe then I
could express how I feel and what I have seen in my life. Yet, the
pain, the
heartache and loneliness are oppressive and frightening. When I really think about
it, the cost of Van
Gogh’s talent is too high for its benefits. I wish I could
have known him,
though. I wish I
could have been there
to love him and tell him how his paintings touched my heart and make me
feel;
good, bad, up, down – really feel. Don McLean’s
popular song and tone poem, Starry
Starry Night(Vincent),expresses
how I feel better than I can.
________________________________________________________________________
Please note that statements representing Van Gogh
as being “bipolar”
are my personal opinion. My belief is based on my education in
psychology and
my extensive work with mentally ill children. After having read his
biography,
personal statements, and hundreds of his letters it is very clear that
he had a
problem. It is very interesting for me to wonder whether he would he
have
killed himself if they had known in the 1800’s what is now
known about mental
illnesses? On the other hand, would the drugs he would be taking to
control his
disease stifle or diminish his abilities? He spent so much of his last
few
years striving to become the perfect painter. That kind of obsession
could only
have been driven by someone who was so manic. Do we have people today
who are,
or could be, as talented as Vincent but, because of medication, can not
express
themselves? We will
never know how
talented they are or the beauty they could produce; they will never
known the
pain, depression, and anguish that drives someone to commit suicide.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
http://www.vangoghgallery.com/index.html
http://www.vangoghmuseum.com/bisrd/top-1-2.html